Wednesday, 16 March 2011

I Should be Dead by Now

It's true. Statistically I should be dead by now. In fact I should be dead a few times over.

Not directly from cycling of course. Cycling, according to research, extends your life by two years whilst making you look 10 years younger (which explains my boyish good looks!). So by cycling I am extending my life and my sex appeal. Hopefully my wife will agree.

So why should I be dead? 

Posting youtube videos of cycling incidents would appear to the culprit and should come with a health warning:

Being a Helmet Camera Cyclist Can Seriously End Your Life

So how does posting videos of incidents on the road reduce your life expectancy?

Some would suggest that it is because I take risks trying to get some worthy footage to post. Recklessly throwing myself under the wheels of HGVs, or endlessly cycling up and down a busy road in search of that elusive close pass.

It's not that either. Although I have had plenty of people suggest that that is what I do!

There is a much more direct threat to a Helmet Camera Cyclists life than that. Quite a shocking threat at that. The threat comes from the

Here are some examples (from my youtube account) of the power of the ITG:

...if it was me I would of run you over.

You're lucky, I would have run you over

if i was drivin that van i woulda smacked u with the door as i drove by

If there was a pothole i would have knocked you down it.


I receive messages like this, and worse, probably a couple of times a week. This is what confuses me. From the messages I receive on youtube, it would seem that about 1% of the population will run me over when they see me. Yet, I'm still here. 

How can I possibly still be alive if so many people are willing and able to run me over!?!

I can think of three possibilities. Either by some freak of statistics I have yet to come across the 1% of the population who are the real hard men and who really will run me over when they see me (or any other cyclist, probably), or it is possible that youtube is not entirely representative of a normal population (shock horror!), or

and this one REALLY is a long shot......

....perhaps as soon as the network cable is unplugged Internet Tough Guy has to return to being the sad, misunderstood loner, who probably can't even afford to buy a car, never mind actually be able to drive one.

I don't feel angry at them,  I feel sorry for them. 

Come here and give me a great big hug......


  1. I had my first 'tough guy' posting to my youtube profile yesterday. Telling me how he would run me over if he saw me and reminding me that I don't pay tax and I cycle at 2mph. I blame you! ;)

    The ironic thing is that I changed jobs last year and haven't been able to cycle to work or post cycle vids since July, but I'm still a tree hugging, yoghurt knitting sandal wearing green weirdo.

    Stay safe

  2. What makes it difficult for them to target us is that we all tend to look the same on the bike!

    Anyway, what's wrong with yogurt knitting, tree wearing, and sandal hugging!?!?!? ;-)

  3. Its a shame that all the real hardcases that have commented on your profile cant join up and sort out the despots of the world,theyd make the A team look like the cast of glee.

  4. It happens to all of us; I got the same threat from the same internet tough guy on my video. Unlike you, I block specific threats and abuse. But still... can you tell me where I can get that graphic? I haven't seen anything funnier all week.


  6. As the Intelligence drops to the nadir so does the demeanour and the all aspects of use of the language.

    Could have used a headcam for that crash though He actually moved off when his light had been red for several seconds. From his position I made sure he had the red and my signals were changing before I moved off.

  7. Road Tax? That doesn't exist, thick car user..

  8. Like you I've done the cameras and to be honest it brought more grief than it was worth. Wish I had the stomach to continue but riding around like Robocop with all the cameras took the fun out of cycling. Ive been run over three times. Once I had my right leg broken twice in the same incident. The guy hit me twice in 20 yards. 4 penalty points and a £150 fine was his punishment. I need to get my foot fused to my leg in 5 years time. I wish I had a pound for every time Ive had a near miss for the driver to get out and say what am i moaning about as didnt hit me. Carry on David. Please.