Friday 1 July 2011

Jeremy Clarkson School of Driving: Lesson 1

Before anyone points out that Jeremy Clarkson is just joking when he comments about cyclists, and how you should drive around them, I actually find his humour mildly (I stress mildly) amusing. Anything coming out of his mouth should be taken with a great big pinch of salt. Whilst I enjoy cycling, in the right circumstances I also enjoy driving, and am happy to watch the odd episode of Top Gear.

However, if the parody, that is Jeremy Clarkson, was to create instructional driving videos, this would probably be one of them.

So here is lesson 1 from the Clarkson School of Driving. How to get past a cyclist who is in your way.


  1. God, it's times like that when I despair for humanity and makes me a borderline misanthrope.

    Seriously though, is it really worth trying to prove a point (a fucking stupid one at that), at the possible expense of killing a cyclist?! I mean, do motorists realise how much of a dick they sound like when they complain about cyclists (one less car on the road, by the way)!?

    Sorry for the rant but it felt good!

  2. Also note the nearside damage to the bump of the sliver Merc, the driver evidently has some difficulty judging distances...

  3. Feel free to rant away! I know exactly where you are coming from.

    If you look closely at the video you can see him lifting his hand off the wheel to shake it at me. Apparently it was my fault.....

  4. Kim,

    Indeed. You do get rather a close up of the damage don't you. I could almost quote him for the repair!

  5. Like you, I occasionally find Clarkson amusing. The problem I have with him is this...

    We're both reasonably intelligent people and recognise him for what he is - a media construct designed to attract viewers and generate column inches. Unfortunately a lot of the people he attracts are brainless, petrol-headed numpties who think the public roads are their own personal race track, harassing vulnerable road users is amusing hijinks and generally live their lives according to the Gospel of Clarkson.

    Unfortunately what should be light-hearted entertainment ends up making prejudices against cyclists seem acceptable. Meanwhile the BBC will continute to allow him to spout off because viewing figures are more important than the safety of a minority.

    I wonder if, in 30 or so years time, people will look back on the kind of anti-cyclist "jokes" made by the likes of Clarkson and James Martin in the same way many people now see the humour of, say, Bernard Manning.

  6. Mark,

    You may be right. If I'm honest I only rarely watch the programme, and don't take much notice of what he says.

    Does Clarkson influence the attitude of a subset of drivers, he might do, but that is probably the subject of another blog post.

    I was just using him as a construct for my latest blog! :-)

  7. Um - as one who cycles on a lot of country lanes, this guy was not THAT close... or is this heresy on this site? And what happened to the old riposte - bang the side of the car?? Great for causing heart attacks.. lol. Safe cycling all.

  8. Anonymous, You can say what you want as long as it isn't abusive! Mind you, if you think this busy A road is a country lane, I don't hold much weight to your judgement... ;-)

  9. The other anonymous is correct, i had worse every ride this week. And he wasn't saying you were on a country road, he said "as someone who rides on country roads" meaning himself, not you.

  10. huuuge gap. more than enough. a little tip though, when you see a car trying to overtake, and you do becouse you are shouting away everytime a car do, try to lean a little more to the left. you are always putting yourself in a situation so the car has minimum space to overtake.

    but keep posting videos though, you make grait fotage to proove syclists are idiots :)

  11. the mass media, for example the bbc acting through the vehicle of j clarkson, exerts huge powers of persuasion over the human mind. hence the aggressive attitude taken towards cyclists by motorists thus affected.